So you want to know all about me, huh?  

Well, what can I tell you that isn’t obscene or illegal?  My name is Glen Jr., and I was born a feral kitten in Miami, FL.  No need for any pity, it wasn’t so bad. I had plenty of adventures with my family and I never missed a meal thanks to my best friend the dumpster.   It was this love of food that eventually pulled me off of the streets and into an adoption agency.   Let’s be honest, who wouldn’t run inside a shiny metal cage just to have a few bites of tuna?   Anyway, thanks to my Achilles Heel (I mean Achilles Stomach) I soon found myself performing for a wide variety of humans (without pay) for the chance to find a forever home.  Despite winning Petsmart’s Got Talent, my only reward was to be placed with a 36-year-old bachelor named Ted (whose main claim to fame was that he once ate an entire can of sauerkraut for $40).  If you find that frightening (good), you should.  Thankfully, I’m a survivor and I can adapt to any dire situation. I once went two full hours without even a morsel of food or a clean litter box. The humanity!!!  It was during one of these stomach rumbling crises that I discovered the internet.  Much like the apple that knocked some sense into Isaac Newton, I too was touched by an object falling from the sky...Ted’s laptop.  Apparently, in my search for nourishment I bumped the kitchen table too hard and was greeted with an IBM landing squarely on my tail.  While I was lucky to avoid any bodily injury, I was still quite rattled and angry enough to inflict some revenge on this evil contraption that wanted me dead.  But just as I was about to pounce, I noticed a bright, flashing computer screen staring right back at me. Needless to say, I was captivated.  Since that day, whenever Ted is not around (which is pretty much always) I jump on the computer and learn something new.  So far, I’ve discovered how to work a camera, how to write and most importantly...how difficult it is to be a Kardashian.  Can you imagine millions of people tuning in to your television program only to find out that your entire family has absolutely no talent?  The horror!  Luckily, yours truly doesn’t have that problem.  So, I’ve started this exiting new blog to prove it. I hope that you will spend some time on my site as I chronicle my daily thoughts and activities, and watch as I do my best to make Ted’s life a living hell!

REVISION 1.0
Why 
   learn 
        from 
             another's 
                      palate
                            when 
                                there 
                                     is 
                                        so 
                                           much 
                                               to 
                                                 teach 
                                                      one's 
                                                           self
                                                               to
                                                                  taste