I do not know why. Who does? There is never an explanation for the unplanned. There are no accidents. Everything has a meaning and a purpose. But rarely are both revealed in a timely or fulfilling manner. Despite my pleas for self control, I am unable
to listen. As I quickly sift through the remains of what was kind and what was
decent, I am left only with frustration and sadness. If I had been present…spiritually…I would have been ready. Will I be next time? One can go crazy with regret. In the moment, my eyes were puffy, swollen from complacency. When will we learn that nothing comes from doing nothing? The brainwaves and the heartbeats that were bestowed upon us…
we unabashedly re-gift. Passed around until we forget just why we started in the first place. I should have paid attention. The empty seconds of the day only become events when my inaction is complete. Now I must wait for the answer. I lament…maybe next time, I will have the courage to open that which comes my way. Maybe next time, I will find who I want to be…standing right there…waiting to be unwrapped.